Anonymous polls are a brilliant way to gain insight, especially when it comes to special experiences such as marriage proposals. It’s so subjective – the ideal proposal features a different scenario for different kinds of people. The usual tricks and traditions tick boxes for some couples, and not others – although, the problems really arise when you and your partner are at odds!
A recent survey by the jeweller Beaverbrooks polled 1,000 British women, and – bad news for the hubbys – almost half of them claimed they were disappointed by their other-half’s proposal. In fact, one in twenty ladies said they’d broken up with their prospective husband because of it!
Those aren’t the worst odds, but it’s a sad statistic nonetheless. However, it’s not all doom and gloom – the survey also provides a good idea of what people actually are after in a proposal. One of the biggest insights is the power of anonymity; less than a quarter of women said they’d told their partner the truth about their disappointment, meaning the majority of those unhappy with their proposal kept the truth to themselves.
Personally, I’d say this speaks more of the ritualistic nature of the ‘proposal’ than of the relationships themselves. Regardless of whether women are happy with the way it’s played out, the worst way to imagine a proposal ending is with a complaint. It goes entirely against the very romantic, picture-perfect image of happiness that an engagement conjures up.
Rightly so, as it should be your picture-perfect moment! Yet, maybe our expectations of the whole affair are set unrealistically high; maybe the romantic elements of a proposal can be lost in the process, whether it’s by putting in too little effort or actually, putting in too much.
It’s a fine line. 23% of ladies said they were embarrassed by proposals that were ‘over-the-top’, so maybe grandiose, dramatic displays aren’t the way to go. That definitely includes public proposals. An incredible 92% said a proposal should never be in public – that’s a near-consensus! Try and keep the experience intimate, a gesture of your personal feelings and a symbol of your relationship with that other person. Otherwise, a proposal can move from the affectionate to the somewhat vain.
But, wait – the survey showed that half of these women felt let down by unromantic locations. (No one ever said this whole wedding thing would be easy…) The ideal middle-ground seems to be a fairly intimate location, yet one that holds some meaning – perhaps a place you both first visited together, or somewhere that holds positive memories. Thoughtfulness, not big gestures, seems the key.
This can only be a good thing. Don’t splash out on that dancing flash-mob and don’t bother shoving a ring in a soufflé, like we’ve seen countless times in films. Money isn’t the answer behind a good proposal, personality is.
Admittedly, this might not be the case when it comes to the star of the show – the engagement ring! According to this poll, women believe the ring should be worth at least £1,028. Here at Hatton we have a number of designs that fit the bill, aided by the fact our diamond treasures are up to 70% cheaper than high street prices. The perks of being an online-only provider based in the heart of Hatton Garden!
Whether you find your fine-line proposal through a spontaneous conversation whilst on holiday somewhere beautiful, or by cooking your partner’s favourite dinner on a Friday night: make it yours. While this survey contains some shockers, the take-away shouldn’t be negative – the overlying message is to keep it personal and meaningful, catered to yours and your partner’s personality. It’s important to remember, the grand event isn’t about what you think it should be – it’s about what you want it to mean for both you and your prospective spouse!
The same comes to the engagement ring, an object of much debate in recent news. The survey shows 10% women couldn’t stand their rings, and a recent post on Mumsnet – which has circulated on a number of news outlets since – voices the grievances of one lady who really wasn’t happy with her £1,300 ring. Once again, it’s all about seeing the positives. The story was in the responses, where hundreds of women commented with their own stories and engagement rings, celebrating the meaning and symbolism they represent.
This story reinforces the very fact that everyone is different; the best answer is to ensure your engagement ring suits its intended owner! Hatton by Design’s main service, Design Your Perfect Engagement Ring, allows you to do just that, creating a personalised, utterly-bespoke ring formed by the master craftsmen in Hatton Garden.
What are your thoughts on proposals? Are you more drawn to grand gestures or small acts? Let us know!